lady amoure’s Neighborhood

...like nobody's business.

find me

i know its been a while since ive updated this vox account, i am desperately trying to maintain my other two, what with my art rantings and goings on. im triple and quadruple posting this, just so i can get as much feedback as possible...

"hello, and welcome back to the internet that you've missed so dearly."

tell me why i feel like ive just woken up from a very very long coma?

something happened. i dont remember exactly what it was, or when exactly it happened, but i lost myself. my voice. my views and opinions, hopes and dreams, desires to achieve and wants to be a real person someday. i lost my reason to live.

and quite frankly i havent found my reason to live yet, but i do know how id like to carry out my journey. and let me tell you its not how i was doing it. i blame imvu. ha. instead of writing and posting and sharing my opinions with everyone i went to go explore others opinions not really staying true to my own. i was, as always, the queen of my castle having others find things out for me and then report back, but it just got boring. now that im trying to have real interpersonal relationships i dont remember what i believe in. and i dont have a release. well, now i do. but then i didnt. now i think ive decided what id like to do. i thought to myself, what are things i enjoy... photoshop, taking photos, making clothes, and doing my own thing. hence the desire to now start my own line of clothing. starting small, tshirts, hats, sweatpants, stuff i can just get my graphixx printed on... then ill move on to making my own clothes AND getting my graphixx printed on, or selling designs to different people. i hope this is what i really want.

this all came about yesterday, when me, nan and dot went to this rti training conference for work. they were yadda-yadda-ing about support groups and forums and i remembered how much i missed that. missed constantly getting information, constantly learning, searching for stories before everyone else knew them. i used to be the one with all the answers and now ive found that im always the one with the questions. or the indifferent one. and i HATE being the indifferent one. i guess it was all a matter of seeing what i didnt want to be and trying to grasp on to what i do want to be. connected. informed. on top of things. educated. undulating. the opposite of, stagnate, stale, idiotic, daft, dead. ive always got so much to say. and never the words to say it. look how much ive typed so far. i needed this. even when i was the queen i was still only fulfilling other peoples needs.

id like to fulfill my own now.

i went for my review today. and lemme just tell you, nothing boosts your entire soul like someone telling you how great a job you do. and how you're a good leader and they feel lucky to have you. its almost like all the struggling that you do (both outwardly and inwardly) and all the work, energy, and effort that you put in has finally paid off. and finally made a difference. now granted im not curing anything and flowers can only go but so far but its nice to be recognized. and appreciated. man, im gonna cry just typing this. i feel like im on the right track. that im actually doing something beneficial for my life. and like the decisions that ive made in the past are leading me to the right future. i just want people to understand how deep this goes. its taken me almost two years for me to realize how great i am again.

ha, i definitely didnt mean to get so... emotional.

while we were going over miscellaneous things in my review they did tell me that i will now be in charge solely of the website. and ive got to update it on a bi weekly basis. im so excited! but realize that all my spare time now is gonna have to be devoted to doing it. good bye what little social life i did have! haha. i swear im not a workaholic... yet.

i met a man too. but that really has nothing to do with anything. or, i met a friend. someone who i can talk to and who understands me. without all the other emotional or physical attachment. loves it.

"Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame"

... that im instantly attracted to a guy when i find out theres something wrong with him? is it the mothering thing coming out? or do some people just like damaged goods?

im still in love with imvu. well, even more now.

that is all.

IMVU is the greatest thing since sliced bread. if anyone has it, drop a sista a line. (lady_amoure) if you dont have it (and you want to), go here:

IMVU - The World's Greatest 3D Chat

IMG_0824

... that i sold as soon as it came downstairs. it really was that good.

IMG_0826

this is not just a shameless plug, but it does amaze me sometimes how great our designer's really are. i can honestly say i hate high style but i loved this one.

bike standing up. i don't particularly remember what makes it easier, i tried to adjust the chain to the outer wheel thinga ma bob because i thought maybe that needed to be adjusted, i can do it when ive shifted the gears to like 4 or 5, but thats BRUTAL on hills (see: the hills are kicking my ass). i desperately need to stick to a gear for right now jsut so i can get my stamina up - i dont remember biking being this hard. haha.

and pix :

nothing special, for now, i gotta see where this bike thing is going to take me. then i might consider getting a cooler one.

in other daily news: after i finished riding this morning, i came in, took a nap (which might i add was fucking lovely, i havent taken a nap in the middle of the day in like, forever), watched some tv, went to get some food and batteries for my companero and now im sifting through youtube and listening to vspot. life cant get any better than this. no, i take that back, if i had some chocolate it'd be that much sweeter. ha